To Dissociate, or Not To Dissociate: How To Combat Anxiety-Induced Dissociation

9/16/2023

Dissociation

Since starting up with my new therapist earlier this year, I’ve been learning so much more about how my brain functions against my anxiety. I say against and not with because, for several years, there’s been one heck of a battle between the two of them. Recently, my therapist and I have discovered that I have been dissociating. Looking back, I now know that I’ve had dissociative episodes countless times and never knew what they were. But, since getting laid off earlier this year and having that space and time to pay attention and increase my self-awareness, I’ve learned about what dissociation is and why and how it affects me.

What is it?

Dissociation (see here + here) is a defense mechanism and experience in which an individual may feel like they are disconnected from reality or experiencing an out-of-body experience. Its connection to anxiety stems from an individual’s intense worries or fears, in which they dissociate and disconnect from their thoughts to cope.

Anxiety-Induced Dissociation vs. Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)

This isn’t to be confused with Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID; sometimes referred to as 'multiple/split personalities'). While both are defense/coping mechanisms, DID maintains that there are two or more alternate identities that a person may have, with different identities taking control of the main identity during a stressful time in order to cope. In a simpler explanation: Dissociation is a single person putting the plane in an auto-pilot. DID is having the pilot and co-pilot be two personalities within the same exact body who take turns piloting the plane.

How does dissociation happen?

Dissociative episodes can be different for everyone, and so can the triggers that start them. Most commonly, dissociation happens when someone experiences severe/toxic stress, trauma triggers, mental health disorders, perfectionism qualities, and/or substance abuse. For me, I’m learning that it is my stress and perfectionism qualities that trigger my dissociative episodes.

How is dissociation prevented?

Just like the severity and occurrence are different for each person, so are the methods for preventing or treating dissociation. There is the psychotherapy route that can be taken in the forms of:

Cognitive-behavioral therapy: focuses on changing thinking patterns, feelings, and behaviors that aren’t serving you.
Dialectic-behavior therapy: may help with severe personality disturbances. It may help you tolerate difficult emotions, including dissociative symptoms. Useful if you’ve experienced abuse or trauma.
Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing: helps cope with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It can reduce persistent nightmares, flashbacks, and other symptoms.
Family therapy: Working together, your family learns about the disorder. The group learns how to recognize signs of a recurrence.
Creative therapies: Art or music therapy can help you explore and express your thoughts and feelings in a safe, creative environment.

Other treatment methods include meditation and relaxation techniques, clinical hypnosis, and medications.

Again, for me, I use a combination of some of the techniques listed above. One is medication, but I’d like to eventually cut that out after learning the healthier/holistic ways of curbing and managing my anxiety and its symptoms.

My prevention strategies

Hobbies

It’s likely because of my ADD that I’ve been able to find and sustain multiple hobbies that help me with emotional regulation and grounding. Sure, some money has been “wasted” while finding the hobbies I actually enjoy. But there’s still the benefit of practicing grounding tevchniques during the trial and error stage of the hobbies that didn’t stick. Here are the ones that did:

Cross Stitching

Affectionately referred to as my “old lady” hobby, I picked up cross-stitching back in 2018/2019. It was just after I found my first remote job and I was having a hard time adjusting to the culture switch. I needed something to keep my mind and hands busy enough and was getting a little bored with reading. Plus, I’m a hard book lover and those can get pretty pricey. So, I decided to get a little single-project cross-stitching kit to see if I would enjoy it. I remember working on a few projects as a child with my mom, but she wasn’t taken by the hobby, so we discontinued it.

My first project was absolutely terrible. I had horrible stitches, spacing, and tautness. But that failure kickstarted my perfectionism and need to succeed at something the first time I tried it, so I went and got a whole starter kit with floss, needles, hoops, and Aida cloth. Then I downloaded some free patterns from the DMC website and practiced more by completing different patterns.

My longest project was a Harry Potter-themed one—it took me two years to complete. However, that’s because I was also working on my master's, working full time, and being a mom/wife. Even now, I have less time to stitch, but still keep my works in progress close by in case I find myself with a free thirty minutes.

My current project is officially my largest as well as my longest: a Japanese Oni mask. This one has been so much fun to work on. I love the colors and symbolism. I even dyed the Aida myself with tea bags because I couldn’t find a background color I liked.

Reading

A long-time passion of mine has been reading. Admittedly, as a child, I would use reading as a means of escaping my reality. But, as an adult, I can recognize that this is probably the single healthy way that I’ve subconsciously practiced dissociation. My favorite genres tend to be fiction—historical, psychological, psych-thrillers, and mythological/fantasy.

I mentioned before that I prefer hardcover books and they tend to be pricey. Well, after I graduated with my master's, my dad gifted me with a 6-month prepaid subscription to Book Of The Month. The organization sends you a quick survey to gauge your literature interest and sends you a grouping of five recommended titles each month to choose from. The subscription covers one book per month, but you can add books each month at an additional cost. You can also add other products, like branded shirts, coasters, tote bags, and socks. I loved it so much that I continued the subscription after the gifted period ended. I had to pause it when I was laid off earlier this year. But that’s okay–I have about six or eight unread books to still get to.

Painting

Painting is one of my newer hobbies. And I’m proud to say I’m almost as experienced as my two-year-old. But, seriously, it’s been a fun start to the painting journey. I’m sticking to the simple things–single colors, no shading–and am enjoying the creative lesson in patience by literally watching paint dry.

Take a peek at some of the embarrassing art I've created:

The Three Gs

In addition to my hobbies, I practice a few techniques that I’ve learned in both a professional and personal setting. I like to refer to them as The Three Gs.

Goal Setting

This one I learned within my experiences in Human Resources but have found increased benefits in setting goals in my personal life. It helps keep me from dissociating because, with a short-term goal especially, there is work to be done each day to progress within the goal. I also see near-immediate gratification when I meet or exceed a goal.

It has also helped me to learn how to correctly set a goal, and how to regulate my emotions if I end up needing to pivot or if I don’t end up meeting a goal. Pivoting or adjusting when something isn’t going according to my plan is something I struggle with. I’ve learned that sticking to a routine and/or plan without deviation feeds my anxious need for control and stability. And failing to meet a goal is a negative driver related to the “all or nothing” part of my anxiety. With correct goal setting, I’m learning about there being room to fail without the world ending.

Grounding Techniques

I spoke about grounding techniques in last week's post. These methods are new to me still but have been working so well that I want to continue to talk about them. Again, some of my favorite techniques I practice are breathing exercises, the countdown method, and listening to classical music. While the classical music doesn’t immediately snap me back into reality, it does calm me tremendously. And sometimes that calming effect is enough to ease me back into reality versus snapping back into it too quickly.

Grace

Finally, the last G that I practice is grace. Giving grace and accepting it. This one is still probably the biggest work in progress. I’m 100% my harshest critic. But, through the other techniques I’ve been learning with my CBT therapist, I’m picking up that giving grace to both yourself and others is a surefire way to protect your own brain and emotions. And since I have literally never protected my brain or emotions before, giving grace is a necessary aspect for me to learn and sustain.

If you somehow end up reading to the end and have some of your dissociation prevention strategies you practice, feel free to share. I'm always looking for great ways to continue making myself a better me.

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