Recreating My Daily Routine...Again

9/09/2023

Ambidexterity: skill or talent, especially in two or more fields. Also: ability to alter oneself, one’s opinions, etc. to serve different purposes; adaptability.

One of the most critical skills I’ve learned since becoming a working mom and wife has been to be ambidextrous and agile within these roles.

I’ve just started a new job and this week was my first whole week of working. I’m thrilled about the role. It’s a part-time HR Generalist role and the company has a fantastic mission of creating an organization in which you shouldn’t have to choose between working or caring for your children.

The journey of finding a new job over these last several months has been exhausting, both emotionally and physically. While I’ve enjoyed being a full-time mom, I’ve been struggling with the mental prep that comes with shifting my day-to-day after finding a new job.

And I’m not alone in this:

58% of moms report that they are primarily responsible for the duties of running a household and caring for children.

46% of moms say that the most important benefit that their employer could offer them would be flexible working arrangements.

52% of moms consider leaving the workforce entirely or reducing their hours because of the lack of flexible working arrangements.

Bureau of Labor Statistics, U.S. Department of Labor, The Economics Daily, Labor force participation of mothers and fathers little changed in 2021, remains lower than in 2019 at https://www.bls.gov/opub/ted/2022/labor-force-participation-of-mothers-and-fathers-little-changed-in-2021-remains-lower-than-in-2019.htm

Adjusting my Schedule

Fortunately, I’ve been lucky the last few years with having professional roles with flexible working arrangements. It’s been so easy to jump in and out of my different modes as needed. But I still get flustered when I need to shift something, mainly because it always seems to happen right when I get used to the new routine.

My manager is located on the West Coast and prefers that I be available for about 5-6 hours each day during what would be her 8 am - 5 pm For me, that means being available for 5-6 hours between 11 am and 8 pm. This is a great benefit. It means that I can shift all my tasks to the mornings and then work from about 12-5:30 each day (with my break being the time it takes to pick up Kyrie from school).

Easier said than done, though. I still have been able to do my morning walks with Ell and Bentley. But I noticed I’m starting to get that rushed feeling when a time-sensitive task is approaching.

To keep myself grounded and present, I have been practicing:

Listening to Classical Music

Here are some more mindfulness practices you can try on your own.

Adjusting Ellia’s Routine

Ellia is still upset at Kyrie having it go to school each morning but continues to be thrilled whenever we go on a walk, so there’s no change in her routine there. But I am still learning how to best adjust her days now that I have to spend a few of those hours at my desk again.

One of the newest projects I undertook to help keep her stimulated and learning was creating her very own busy board.

I tried finding a ready-made board but was disgusted with the prices compared to the finished size of the boards. So, I made one of my own with items I knew Ellia would like for a fraction of the price. Click here to take a look at the items I used + where to find them.

Kyrie’s After-School Routine

Kyrie’s routine isn’t nearly as cumbersome to adjust. Since he is at school for most of the day anyway, the task that remains is to maintain his after-school routine.

For this to work, I knew I’d have to be very specific. My goal was to have every step of the routine prepared and easy to follow. During previous school years, we had already established that Ky would come home, take a shower, and have a snack. This portion of winding down after getting home was easy to keep. But, as he gets older, Kyrie is starting to bring back more homework.

After the wind-down, Kyrie knows now to check his calendar at his desk to see what the day’s homework assignments are.

He’ll read the calendar for the day, grab the worksheets from their folder, and head back downstairs to work near me while Ell watches a show and I finish working.

Math isn’t a strong area for him, so he’ll sometimes leave those worksheets alone until I can sit with him. But the cursive, reading, and writing assignments keep him busy for about an hour.

Every couple of days, I’ll also throw in something supplemental, like practicing the (electronic) piano, researching a historic black figure, or, watching science videos/conducting science experiments. But those are only about once a week since I need to be fully present for them.

With my luck, though, we’ll finally fall into the rhythm of this new structure and it’ll need to be changed yet again. But what is a mother if she isn’t ambidextrous?

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